I am so touched!!

A surprised from my beloved!! I am really touched by his acts!! It nevered cross my mind that my dear is so sweet... besides the swarovski cross, I was also touched by the small little card attached.. It really mean so soooo much!!'This token is nothing but my love and appreciation for you!!' This is the best x'mas of all... hehe..

Looking back!! Time passes real fast!! is already one and half year we are together!! I really treasure every moments we are together and I thank God that he is 'the one'.. I thank God for His faithfullness and goodness that He has blessed me with him..

Random

 Women... Is sooooo complicated.Being one, I myself also find it complicated.. or just me?? Learned something online.. when a woman says 'Nothing' does not really mean nothing... is just something but yet for you to really explore what is that 'Nothing'... otherwise, it'll then end up with 'Whatever'.  This is just some point that I do agree with totally....

Despite knowing this, why guys just like to ask this ' Must be something instead of nothing, but what is the something??' please better not ask when you already know that what is the 'Something'.. and just either let it be or you do something bout that 'Something'. Complicated huh?? Is actually not that complicated as it is. seriously...!!! there are only two solution as I said earlier on, if you really care bout that 'Nothing' then jus act on it.. do something bout it to please her.. otherwise, just leave it as 'nothing' ... or else that ' Nothing' will either end up with an argument which i think nobody will like it or.. it'll ended up with someone crying..

Lets talk bout guys then... seriously speaking... i dun really understand what they are thinking... or mayb just mine.... yup... is good to plan every steps that we take.. but sometimes plans changed.. due to the fact that man changed, the heart changed, the desire changed, the focus changed...

Marriage, marriage and still marriage.... think this is something a woman always wait for or should i say desired for.. having their own family ;starting from just two different individual that who were not related initially but yet ended up having their own family... (provided that the guy is the RIGHT one). Marriage to a woman is jut the starting of their life...but to guys?? What is Marriage????

when i was young, I always imagine my dream proposal, my Mr Right, my dream house, my wedding and etc... even until now... these thoughts still there.... anyway.. all these are just my own imaginations... my advice was... try not to put too high an expectations on everything... it'll make ur life easier... will not be disappointed if no expectation... real life is different de..

something i read!!

A True Life Reflection............


i got this from a forwarded mail.. think that is really nice to share...

get your tissues ready


4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have fail to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my kid, and failed to be the dad and mum for my kid.


There was one particular day, when i had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home.. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So, with jus a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'.... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!


Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short

explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasnt anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But i rememberedyou reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around,hence i turn on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till u return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."



At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying...so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the showerhead on to mask my cries....


After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy....


A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from
kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regrets. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain.But he wasnt to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy and that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....



Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept tohimself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!



Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...xmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to
the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.




His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did you post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."



After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.... I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening one of the letter before they turned to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason.

Mummy,

everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?




After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife.....


For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company,and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.





For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.




For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or
your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

ups and downs...!!

i was depressed for quite awhile i guess..!! due to some funny and unreasonable remark made from my colleagues..!! i remembered i was once so energetic, loving my job so much... but yet.. i was so dissapointed after knowing that i m not good at all.. ppl jus like to pass comments (for those that r frank enough i guess) but others will jus continue to gossips around..

is it a sin to even be working with ur loved one?? y can't they jus take it as if we r jus friend.. i really dun understand.. !! y ppl just like to talk and put ppl down jus like that.. is not that we dun work professionally.. WORK is WORK.. this has always been since we were jus friend!!can't they see??

leon always comfort me .. saying that- let them say wat they wanted to.. jus ignored them will do.. so long we know is US not THEM..instead... but.. , being me.. i still feels no matter how much i choose to ignore.. crying to myself and to leon is always what it ended to be.. !!

i finally have decided to take up some new skills in order not to think so much after so long.. !! here goes the ups..!!

taking up the swarovski woven watch course -it took almost a day in learning it.. been thru making it and taking it out. beads up and stuff like that.. wowoooww!! is not very easy initially.. but once i master the skills.. i enjoyed doing it.. and showing it to others my collections as well.. hehe.. i loved doing it to the extend of went to search for the cheapest beads, when to search for the watch faces and etc!! was never easy.. and leon was and is still my greastest supporter so far.. haha!! thanks leon.. !!

it was so long after my last post.. hmmm.. let me see...
i was kinda busy recently due to changing of the entire cycle of sleep and work pattern.. going to perm night shift instead of rotating shift.. (but of course.. is for temporary.. otherwise woman aged faster ..) before deciding on doing perm night.. i weight the pro and cons actually and of cos not forgetting to ask permission from my beloved... hehe..

one of the main reason will be it will somehow help in my finances to ease my current finance situation slightly. and hopefully..
the other reason will be -able to set aside more time for God- able to meet the gals out for cell group and stuff like that.
the third reason would be- able to have more regular hours for myself with my friends and bf.. hehe..
and finally... my night khakis were all planning to have regular exercises together.. so far we went gyms session and few trips to treetop walk after our night shift... hehe.. was tough struggling to get sleep but we went 12km of walk before we can smell the bed.. haha..

i think is like almost two months plus after my first round of night shift. to be honest- i kinda like it comparing to the normal rotating shift.. readon being- i dun really have to faced the gossips around in the ward ... but of cos one of the cons will be.. the manager won't b able to see my performance and it might affect my next coming appraisal.. but is still okie.. at lease i can work at ease with peace in mind.. haha..

and one of the usual thing that i like most was the friendship that we build (the perm night khakis).. were having fun knowing more bout one another and teasing one another during the journey from hospital back to bishan station( oh yea.. need to thank joanne here .. she send us back to the nearest station -so that we will reached home earlier).. and bla blahhh blahhh... so many things to chat about.. eg.. nazir's wedding prep and stuff like that.. so cute..

but one depressing thing to work perm night was that... i've got to know that i have to find all the forms- some colleagues are just being so inconsiderate - they did not help to sought out the forms and 'DID NOT EVEN try their best to search for it.. and expect that the night shift to follow up.. not only forms.. but even equipments.. they are really being too much... but is okie after all.. manage to solve all the problems ourself instead.

shall changed to another topic instead.. hehe.. was going thru a transitional period recently from being a hope church members to FCBC due to my relationship.. was quite tough initially.. didn't know anybody except my bf to knowing the two cell leaders danny(leon's cl) and yuling (my cl). and of cos the rest of the gals like pearlie, elaine, jael, clarrisa(leon's close fren), angela and the men eg. yongjin(clarrisa's husband), joe(pearlie's husband to be), and leon's cell group.
it wasn't easy for me actually- role changed, confusion, and insecurity due to new environment and new teaching style , new ppl, different structures .... but thanks to all these ppl.. i managed to overcome the fears and now i am having lots of fun and felt so much love from them as well. really feel at home now.. like FCBC is my second home le... (still miss HopeChurch actually- but have to move on le)...

this week i m celebrating my birthday with new bunch of ppl.. my cell group and my love one just by my side... looking forward to it.. (so sad in the other hand- missing marc and theresa; been celebrating our birthday together for the past 5 years i guess..)

that's all for this time.. till then.. c ya..!!

something interesting

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


This is a very good article which my aunt forwarded to me.. especially for those who are still single may learn something from here... and those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

Marrying the right person

During one our seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU Falling in love is easy It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.

But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love.. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make"love Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling. Remember this always : "God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."


" Together , We make It Happen", "Be Effective, Get Results", "Do What Is Right" and " Work Together"

february post..

last day of Feb lo.. hehe.. haiiizz.. another older le..
ok.. shall start this with v day.. hmmm.. v day to us is just another day.. no celebration , no flower, no chocs.. is another working day eventhough was a weekend .. plus , both of us was on different shift.. so unable to celebrate at all eventhough we tot of wanting to celebrate it as this is the first and ever v day for me.. (which i tot so..).. too bad.. it turns out to be a 'very memorable one ' instead.. both of us was not in the mood of celebrating it due to some misunderstanding.. i was super down that day... maybe putting to much hope in it ba.. then ... it never turns out that way i wanted to be.. so there goes...'the misunderstanding'.. which went on for two days.. finally resolved after letting him know what was my expectation and stuff like that.. it was our so call first argument after all... on that 'very' day... haiiizz... thank God everything resolved le.. somehow i learned my lesson.. 'never expect to much, if things never goes as we expect... we'll be very dissapointed'...

that's all for v day. (not a verY good day for me)..

Hmmm,.. next was ..i finally have my first make over pictures le.. never did that before.. Leon got a call from the studio asking us to go for a free make over session... we both enjoyed it.. and the photos was very nice.. show u guys next time k.. hehe.. i was so touched by Leon's action... no word to discribe and expressed my feelings that time.. maybe extremely happy??!! hee!! tell u guys more next time bout this ba..

next... just got a call from leon saying that he had received a letter from hdb to ask us to go down to do our selection of our 'new home'.. we send in the application during dec.. for a 'built-to-order' hdb in yishun.. hmmm.. details... will update u guys hopefully..

thats all.. bye!!

hi there.. happy Chinese new year to all..
recently i was soooo busy at work especially during the Chinese new year reunion night itself.. hmmm.. ya ya.. i got to work on that very night.. that night was so busy till non of my colleagues even went for a short toilet break.. luckily i had a very good team to work with.. we managed to complete our job and went home at the expected time..

my Chinese new year wasn't fun at all.. didn't really went for house visiting accept going to Leon's grandparent's place.. and Marilyn's place. and guess wat.. Leon's family were very nice.. but as usual.. the usual question being asked was.. ' when r u guys getting married ' and stuff like that...
before i was attached.. the questions will goes like this..' when r u bringing ur boy friend home? ' , ' need any help in introducing u a guy'.. and etc.. think these kind of questions will not have an end to it.. (headache!!!)

there goes my new year...

hmmm... let me share something happy instead... and only until yesterday that i got to know it for myself that i am such an inspiring person.. hehe!! guess wat... yesterday one of the advance dip critical care nursing student approached me asking me if i still remember her?? which my answere was she looks familiar but just couldn't figure out when did i met her before.. she then thank me and told me that i spoken to her my dreams of becoming a nurse and i had encouraged her that she could still remember me till now.. and saying that without my encouragement that she would not have gone so far as a nurse... wooooahhh !!! ( my feelings at that moment was... am i dreaming?? am i that encouraging?? ... didn't know that with that few words of encouragements that someone will remember me till this long)

i was really surprised and i asked her again am i that person...?? and she told me that she saw me several times in the hospital and wanted to approached me but just didn't have the right opportunity actually .. (i acually dunno how to react that time... cause never had that kinda feeling before... can u imagine that if someday someone just pop by and tell u that because of ur encouragement and they are wat they are now what will be ur reaction??)...

i was so glad that she told me that and she really made my day .. that's y i tot of writing it here so that i can remember that words of encouragements is important..

back home

went home with Leon... here it goes... when we reached Malacca the first day.. we went to Mahkota for food and shopping then.. somehow.. caught a movie.. with this title... 'the spirit'... a brand new year.. with a speechless movie.. my advice was.. please don't waste your money on that movie k.. haiizzz... then there goes the first day..

the second day was.. we went to mini Malaysia , botanical garden and recreational park.. guess what... we were lost in between recreational park and botanical garden.. the place was like a maze.. just couldn't came out from there.. was searching our way out since 3pm then.. managed to be out at 5pm.. hehe.. initially we were just spending our time admiring the nature but.. when we realized by then.. we were lost.. hehe.. but we somehow enjoyed anyway.. funny hor..

the third day.. went to visit my grandparents ... guess wat my grandma said... she said leon look like my brother junior... haiiizz... wat a description ....

got to go le.. bye.. sob sob...

is a brand new year... 2009!!

i have decided to start my brand new year with looking back what had happened during 2008..
hmmm... 2008.. !! i 've been through a lot.. when for an operation.. , had arguments with my best fren due to my sis, started my new journey with someone i love, completed my advance diploma, my best fren's wedding.. and etc..

so many things happening.. i was really overwhelm by that.. can't believe hor.. one thing i always remembered.. God is faithful.. He is always by my side.. and He send someone to look after and took care of me as well.. just be by my side whenever i am in need.. eg, jac, merlyn, marilyn, leon, my sis Jolene and so many more.. i can't be here if without them being there with me.. hey guys.. thanks a lot.. appreciate every little things that u guys did..

looking back.. i realized that things was not easy at all with a tight finance and so many emotional struggles as well.. but God is faithful.. He brings me out and made me a stronger person and a person who depend on Him more. words just can't express my feelings towards our 'Abba father'.
ok.. shall start with the diagnosis of a lump which appears like a cancerous cells was diagnosed.. it was a shock in my life. can you imagine my feelings when i got to know that!!!!there goes wanting to tell my family what happened and even telling Leon of the diagnosis when our relationship was just merely a week old.. but somehow i still let him know..

guess wat.. during these period of time my sis was with me in Singapore.. she just got a job here.. but due to some misunderstanding.... cat and i were not in good terms.. all bad things happened at a time..

i really have no idea how i went through all these things together.. but yet i know that my frens and family is always there when i needed it most..

hooray.. the bad things have gone.. the so called cancerous cell was not cancerous at all.. thank God.. and me and cat's friendship was reconciled. and leon and jac was with me through out all these time.. was glad to have them with me..

life just ain't easy for me actually.. but God has walked me thru.. by looking backwards.. it was amazing that i've been thru all these things.. even some close fren of mine thinks that it was rather tough for them.. yes indeed.. it was real tough.. but i am looking forward to a new year with new things in life..

changing an environment i guess.. switching from a familiar place to somewhere new... i mean churches itself... i was so heart ache to leave my group of frens ... but in view of the growth ... will have to .. needing to know that it is a necessarily changes .. will need to adapt a new environment all over again... haaiiizzz.. (shall not complain then..).. sob...
bye guys... till then..