something interesting

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


This is a very good article which my aunt forwarded to me.. especially for those who are still single may learn something from here... and those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

Marrying the right person

During one our seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU Falling in love is easy It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.

But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love.. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make"love Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling. Remember this always : "God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."


" Together , We make It Happen", "Be Effective, Get Results", "Do What Is Right" and " Work Together"

february post..

last day of Feb lo.. hehe.. haiiizz.. another older le..
ok.. shall start this with v day.. hmmm.. v day to us is just another day.. no celebration , no flower, no chocs.. is another working day eventhough was a weekend .. plus , both of us was on different shift.. so unable to celebrate at all eventhough we tot of wanting to celebrate it as this is the first and ever v day for me.. (which i tot so..).. too bad.. it turns out to be a 'very memorable one ' instead.. both of us was not in the mood of celebrating it due to some misunderstanding.. i was super down that day... maybe putting to much hope in it ba.. then ... it never turns out that way i wanted to be.. so there goes...'the misunderstanding'.. which went on for two days.. finally resolved after letting him know what was my expectation and stuff like that.. it was our so call first argument after all... on that 'very' day... haiiizz... thank God everything resolved le.. somehow i learned my lesson.. 'never expect to much, if things never goes as we expect... we'll be very dissapointed'...

that's all for v day. (not a verY good day for me)..

Hmmm,.. next was ..i finally have my first make over pictures le.. never did that before.. Leon got a call from the studio asking us to go for a free make over session... we both enjoyed it.. and the photos was very nice.. show u guys next time k.. hehe.. i was so touched by Leon's action... no word to discribe and expressed my feelings that time.. maybe extremely happy??!! hee!! tell u guys more next time bout this ba..

next... just got a call from leon saying that he had received a letter from hdb to ask us to go down to do our selection of our 'new home'.. we send in the application during dec.. for a 'built-to-order' hdb in yishun.. hmmm.. details... will update u guys hopefully..

thats all.. bye!!

hi there.. happy Chinese new year to all..
recently i was soooo busy at work especially during the Chinese new year reunion night itself.. hmmm.. ya ya.. i got to work on that very night.. that night was so busy till non of my colleagues even went for a short toilet break.. luckily i had a very good team to work with.. we managed to complete our job and went home at the expected time..

my Chinese new year wasn't fun at all.. didn't really went for house visiting accept going to Leon's grandparent's place.. and Marilyn's place. and guess wat.. Leon's family were very nice.. but as usual.. the usual question being asked was.. ' when r u guys getting married ' and stuff like that...
before i was attached.. the questions will goes like this..' when r u bringing ur boy friend home? ' , ' need any help in introducing u a guy'.. and etc.. think these kind of questions will not have an end to it.. (headache!!!)

there goes my new year...

hmmm... let me share something happy instead... and only until yesterday that i got to know it for myself that i am such an inspiring person.. hehe!! guess wat... yesterday one of the advance dip critical care nursing student approached me asking me if i still remember her?? which my answere was she looks familiar but just couldn't figure out when did i met her before.. she then thank me and told me that i spoken to her my dreams of becoming a nurse and i had encouraged her that she could still remember me till now.. and saying that without my encouragement that she would not have gone so far as a nurse... wooooahhh !!! ( my feelings at that moment was... am i dreaming?? am i that encouraging?? ... didn't know that with that few words of encouragements that someone will remember me till this long)

i was really surprised and i asked her again am i that person...?? and she told me that she saw me several times in the hospital and wanted to approached me but just didn't have the right opportunity actually .. (i acually dunno how to react that time... cause never had that kinda feeling before... can u imagine that if someday someone just pop by and tell u that because of ur encouragement and they are wat they are now what will be ur reaction??)...

i was so glad that she told me that and she really made my day .. that's y i tot of writing it here so that i can remember that words of encouragements is important..

back home

went home with Leon... here it goes... when we reached Malacca the first day.. we went to Mahkota for food and shopping then.. somehow.. caught a movie.. with this title... 'the spirit'... a brand new year.. with a speechless movie.. my advice was.. please don't waste your money on that movie k.. haiizzz... then there goes the first day..

the second day was.. we went to mini Malaysia , botanical garden and recreational park.. guess what... we were lost in between recreational park and botanical garden.. the place was like a maze.. just couldn't came out from there.. was searching our way out since 3pm then.. managed to be out at 5pm.. hehe.. initially we were just spending our time admiring the nature but.. when we realized by then.. we were lost.. hehe.. but we somehow enjoyed anyway.. funny hor..

the third day.. went to visit my grandparents ... guess wat my grandma said... she said leon look like my brother junior... haiiizz... wat a description ....

got to go le.. bye.. sob sob...

is a brand new year... 2009!!

i have decided to start my brand new year with looking back what had happened during 2008..
hmmm... 2008.. !! i 've been through a lot.. when for an operation.. , had arguments with my best fren due to my sis, started my new journey with someone i love, completed my advance diploma, my best fren's wedding.. and etc..

so many things happening.. i was really overwhelm by that.. can't believe hor.. one thing i always remembered.. God is faithful.. He is always by my side.. and He send someone to look after and took care of me as well.. just be by my side whenever i am in need.. eg, jac, merlyn, marilyn, leon, my sis Jolene and so many more.. i can't be here if without them being there with me.. hey guys.. thanks a lot.. appreciate every little things that u guys did..

looking back.. i realized that things was not easy at all with a tight finance and so many emotional struggles as well.. but God is faithful.. He brings me out and made me a stronger person and a person who depend on Him more. words just can't express my feelings towards our 'Abba father'.
ok.. shall start with the diagnosis of a lump which appears like a cancerous cells was diagnosed.. it was a shock in my life. can you imagine my feelings when i got to know that!!!!there goes wanting to tell my family what happened and even telling Leon of the diagnosis when our relationship was just merely a week old.. but somehow i still let him know..

guess wat.. during these period of time my sis was with me in Singapore.. she just got a job here.. but due to some misunderstanding.... cat and i were not in good terms.. all bad things happened at a time..

i really have no idea how i went through all these things together.. but yet i know that my frens and family is always there when i needed it most..

hooray.. the bad things have gone.. the so called cancerous cell was not cancerous at all.. thank God.. and me and cat's friendship was reconciled. and leon and jac was with me through out all these time.. was glad to have them with me..

life just ain't easy for me actually.. but God has walked me thru.. by looking backwards.. it was amazing that i've been thru all these things.. even some close fren of mine thinks that it was rather tough for them.. yes indeed.. it was real tough.. but i am looking forward to a new year with new things in life..

changing an environment i guess.. switching from a familiar place to somewhere new... i mean churches itself... i was so heart ache to leave my group of frens ... but in view of the growth ... will have to .. needing to know that it is a necessarily changes .. will need to adapt a new environment all over again... haaiiizzz.. (shall not complain then..).. sob...
bye guys... till then..

something i learned...

Have you ever, at any one time, had the feeling that life is bad, real bad, and you wish you were in another situation?

You find life make things difficult for you, work , life , everything seems to go wrong...

Read the following story... it may change your views about life:
After reading this from forwarded email.. found that is kinda true..

there is this man, despite taking 2 jobs, he brings back barely above 1K per month, he is happy as he is.

people will be wondering how he can be as happy as he is considering he has to skimp his life with the low pay to support a pair of old parents, in-laws, a wife, 2 daughters and the many bills of a household.

He explained that it was through one incident that he saw in India that happened a few years ago when he was really feeling low and touring India after a major setback.

He said that right in front of his very eyes he saw an Indian mother chop off her child's right hand with a chopper. The helplessness in the mother's eyes, the scream of pain from the innocent 4-year-old child haunted him until today.

You may ask why did the mother do so; had the child been naughty, had the child's hand been infected?? No, it was done for two simple words- - -TO BEG!

The desperate mother deliberately caused the child to be handicapped so that the child could go out to the streets to beg.

Taken aback by the scene, he dropped a piece of bread he was eating half-way. And almost instantly, a flock 5 or 6 children swamped towards this small piece of bread which was covered with sand, robbing bits from one another. The natural reaction of hunger.

Stricken by the happenings, he instructed his guide to drive him to the nearest bakery. He arrived at two bakeries and bought every single loaf of bread he found in the bakeries. The owner was dumbfounded but willingly sold everything. He spent less than $100 to obtain about 400 loaves of bread (this is less than $0.25 per loaf) and spent another $100 to get daily necessities.

Off he went in the truck full of bread into the streets. As he distributed the bread and necessities to the children (mostly handicapped) and a few adults, he received cheers and bows from these unfortunate. For the first time in his life he wondered how people can give up their dignity for a loaf of bread which cost less than $0.25.

He began to tell himself how fortunate he is. How fortunate he is to be able to have a complete body, have a job! , have a family, have the chance to complain what food is nice and what isn't nice, have the chance to be clothed, have the many things that these people in front of him are deprived of...

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how much you already have."

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that! we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

tagged.. random questions

1. What's your favorite book at the present time?
-Tuesday with Morries

2. Given the chance, what special ability/power would you like to have?
-healing power i hope so.. hehe..

3. What's your favorite color? Why?
white.. dunno.. just like that..

4. Where is the place you want to go the most?
-back home to see my nephew..

5. If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?
- to be love by the one i love dearly..hehe..

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
-Yes. Everything happens for a reason.

7. Do you think friends are important?
- friends are something i treasures most besides my family

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- build my own house .. and the rest for investment i guess..

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
-Yes. why not..

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
-my buddy, wise man, and cute guy (i guess.. hmm.. it depends. hehe)

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
- i don't usually hate people.. hmm...

12. What is your ambition?
-a be a good nurse or a consultant in future..

13. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
- i prefer to listen to the truth instead, even though it hurts most of the time..

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
-true joy

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
-i am not..

16. What is the one thing you like about your country?
- the place that i grew up.. nice people and.. etc.. it depends..

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
- may be not so independent i guess.. girls must be dependent at times..

18. Is there anything that you have done which you regret?
-Not a regret.never..hopefully..

19. What makes you different?
- i am who i am.. only one me in this world..

20. Do you feel good to be friend with the person who tagged you? Why?
-Yes. Why not?